I’m not a Mark Warner Mum


I am not a contender for the Mark Warner Mum Family Ambassador programme. They want social media stats and stuff, there are many more people that take this more serious than I and probably deserve a skiing holiday more than I do. Just for a laugh, here are my top 10 travel must haves:

1. Suncream – Very important, especially when you have absolutely no melanin in your body/ginger skin.
suncream

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Little kids following you around because they’ve never seen someone, who is so pale yet so red at the same time, before. Image taken in the amazing Orchid Garden, Hoi An, Vietnam

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. A decent sized bath – I’ve had some mini-baths in places like Spain, no good. I need to lie down to soak my sunburn. Image below taken at Elephant Nature Park

 

4. A decent pool – makes it easier to get my sunburn on if I stay in the water for a long time. Image taken at Phu Pai Art Resort in Thailand

phu pai pool

5. Really smelly animals – I don’t think any holiday is complete without being forced to sit on an animal who hates you as much as you hate it.

cairo camel

6. Travel insurance – Because you’re never sure when you’ll need help breathing

Jokes. I’m in an Oxygen Bar in Sharm El Sheik, really!

7. Protection – nuff said

8. Treesssss.

9. A wheelchair.

10. Sensible Shoes

Jeremy Scott for Adidas, taken in a department store in Tokyo.

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10 Comments

  • Devon Mama
    February 23, 2017 at 10:50 pm

    This is my favourite EVER of your posts.

    Thank you for making my week. I love it. Mark warner would be lucky to have you and your webiste.

  • Nicola
    February 23, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    Amazeballs! I know what to buy you for Christmas now, Factor 75 sun cream!!

    • Devon Mama
      February 23, 2017 at 11:12 pm

      I think she’s gonna need stronger.

      • iamcrabstix
        February 23, 2017 at 11:13 pm

        I don’t even leave the house in the North East in anything under factor 50. I hope RLT has his daddy’s vitamin D absorption

  • Lisa Valentine
    February 23, 2017 at 11:11 pm

    This is amazing and made me snort laugh. A refreshing, realistic holiday post 😂

  • Kimberly - Media Mummy
    February 24, 2017 at 9:40 am

    😭 ! The animals! Yes! Brilliant post x

    • iamcrabstix
      February 24, 2017 at 9:51 am

      Thank you, my Orla friend!x

  • MomOfTwoLittleGirls
    February 24, 2017 at 9:49 am

    haha … funny stuff.

  • Hannah Spannah
    February 28, 2017 at 11:45 am

    Oh this made me laugh so much! The one for medical insurance is brilliant! God luck, you never know!

    • iamcrabstix
      February 28, 2017 at 11:46 am

      Thanks. I haven’t entered, it was really just a laugh!

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