I am taking part in Donna from What the Redhead Said‘s Living Arrows – which is a celebration of childhood!
We could all do with a little more celebration in our lives!
To quote Donna, “The project originally took it’s name from a poem by Kahlil Gibran, “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” and every Monday we share a moment from our week and invite others to do the same as part of this linky.”
Week 34/52 Living Arrows
FREEDOM
The weather has been slightly better this week, so on my day off we went to the park to just be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! It’s been pretty rubbish weather since RLT has been stable on his feet, so he hasn’t really had the chance to just go as fast as his little feet can take him!
We went for breakfast and then walked over to the park, I then let him out of his pushchair to just explore in any direction he fancied. He loved it, he was giggling as he attempted to run. It was simply lovely.
Family life is very different today than it was 50 years ago. 50 years ago, nuclear families were the norm. Today that is no longer the case – the family landscape has changed significantly over the past few decades. Families come in all sorts of shapes and sizes in 2017, from blended families to civil families, families today are very different from the ones considered ‘normal’ five decades ago.
In the UK, there are 18.9 million families; 12.7 million of these are married or in a civil partnership, while there are 3.3 million cohabiting families, and that number is growing all the time. Between 1996 and 2016, cohabiting families were the fastest-growing family type in the UK, doubling from 1.5 million to 3.3 million in just ten years. We are one of these families.
Today, more and more couples are choosing to live together without getting married, opting to cohabit instead. I love my partner dearly, and would love to share a name with him and our child, however, the notion of a big elaborate wedding has never appealed to me. I’d rather spend the money on the honeymoon – but that would upset more traditional members of family and cause potential arguments, so we’ve just never bothered. The thought of going to a registry office doesn’t appeal either, so it is just something that’s ever been on our radar. If our child has a problem in the future, I’m sure it is something we’d address then.
So, having around four years experience of cohabiting, I can share tips on how can you make cohabiting work well for yourself, your partner, and your children
Ensure there is plenty of space for everyone
Cohabiting, whether it’s you, your child, and their biological father, or you, your children, and your new partner requires plenty of space for everyone. When you are all squeezed into one small space, arguments are more likely to occur. If you want cohabiting to work in the long-term, it pays to choose somewhere that offers plenty of space. Everyone needs their own space, which is why the larger the property, the better. Cohabiting, whether you have kids in tow or not, can take some getting used to, and it’s important to realise that.
Put an agreement in place
It’s all well and good being head over heels in love, but what happens should things go sour? Would you enter into a marriage without protecting yourself with a prenuptial agreement? If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t cohabit without a cohabitation agreement either. Just in case it all goes south, it pays to use a family law solicitors to get an agreement put in place. This should state who gets the property, what happens to joint possessions and any savings that have been accumulated. Be smart and protect yourself and your children, after all, you never know what the future holds.
Respect is vital
The chances are, when you first met your partner, you tried to show them your best side. You were kind, caring and helpful – just because your relationship has moved forward, that doesn’t have to change. Respect is vital in any relationship. Don’t change how you act with your partner just because you have moved in together. Don’t take them for granted, treat them with care and respect. Pick up after yourself and expect the same from them.
Be constructive communicators
Arguments will happen, that’s just the way life is. However, you can minimise the impact that arguments have by being constructive communicators. Be fair when it comes to arguments, don’t throw things at your partner or bring up old arguments that have long been settled. Make your point and then listen to theirs, and then try to come to a mutual answer to the problem. Don’t leave fights unfinished. Talk things through until you come to a suitable resolution.
RLT was officially 60 weeks old this week! Time is going so fast! I last blogged about what he is wearing at thirty weeks, so an update is long overdue! From looking back at how many designer clothes he had in the first thirty weeks, I can definitely say that now he has active and eating on his own, I have started shopping a little more in supermarkets and high street for items for his wardrobe. However, he has a few key items which I just couldn’t resist which I’ve paid a little more for. Here are some key pieces from little man’s wardrobe over the past thirty weeks since the last update:
Joules Milford Jacket
This is an old favourite of ours – we’ve simply bought in the next size up! John Lewis had a Joules promotion on and I simply couldn’t resist as it has been an ideal coat for our unpredictable weather. So thrilled that this will come in handy until he is 18 months old.
Joules Dale Striped Hoodie
I confess that I saw this on a little boy at the play gym and thought he looked smart – so ordered it online. I find the quality of Joules baby clothes is fantastic and is definitely my go-to brand for outerwear.
Sportswear
Not my preference! But he does seem to be very comfortable and be able to move around freely in the sportswear that his Dad and Grandad have purchased for him over the past few months. Daddy bought him an England rugby kit, which being white is highly impractical for someone so small! Grandad opted for a Barcelona kit, which has Messi written on the back, which is ironic as that is exactly what he is!
I’ve been very impressed with H&M children’s wear and have found some very nice casual clothes in there. There seems to have been a sale on for quite a while now and I picked up 7 items including four jumpers for £23. I particularly like the navy american football style shirt pictured below and the stripey t-shirts they do. I’m not one for saying my child can’t wear pink because he is a boy, so it has been nice to get some pink in his wardrobe by mixing it with a navy stripe.
I am still astounded by the quality of the children’s clothing in Next having NEVER found anything which fits my style in there. I literally cannot remember ever buying an item of clothing from there until I had a child. Their rompers are fantastic, we picked up some lovely ones for holidays which were simple but good quality. We bought a blue trilby too, but sadly he decided very early on that it was never going to get on his head for more than 10 seconds. Next’s range of ‘superhero’ clothing is quite vast – not a massive fan myself, but my nephew loves it when him and RLT dress the same, so on the odd occasion I have been known to buy them a batman t-shirt as all of the boys at playgroup dress as superheroes!
We also now have the inclusion of footwear to the microfashion mix. As RLT has only just started walking, we are still sticking with the Clarks first shoe collection, first we had Doodles and now we have some Tiny Aspire ones too, which are a bit harder sole.
I was so super excited to try the Chin Up Mask as I love products like this. Why? Because I am 34, work full-time, have a 14-month-old child and I don’t have time to do anything about the effects of any of that!
My appearance has been getting me down since I gave birth. In particular my double chin, I’d never had one before, but I think the combination of being in my mid-thirties and developing an appetite for snacking on biscuits multiple times a day have taken their toll over the past year or so. So obviously the thought of trying a Chin Up Mask was music to my ears. I don’t have oodles of time for self-care, so anything that will give me a little bit of a confidence boost, which I can fit around my life, is fantastic.
I had done no research on the product before I received it in the post, so I was impressed by the quality of packaging when it arrived. It felt like a quality luxury product due to the practical, well-designed and sturdy packaging. The branding is clear and concise as is the level of information provided – the company has clearly done their research with having call-to-actions to sign up to the VIP scheme on the surrounding packaging.
As with most beauty products, it had the ingredients written on the back, again designed very crisp. The instructions were provided in the form of images – very similar to instructions you’d find in Ikea, only designed nicer. Now I am personally not too good with pictures like this, I like words. I’m the world’s worst person at Pictionary! So I had to think harder than the average person when following instructions – but this is more likely down to my own unfortunate challenges in common sense rather than the product – but as this is a review of my experience, I thought it was worth mentioning!
For example, you measure your chin with the measuring tape before and after use to measure success – I wasn’t 100% on where I should start and end the tape. An arrow is provided on the instructions but the arrow goes over the face, so did this mean that I measured within the structure of my jaw or below it? Probably common sense to anyone else who looked at it, but confused me a little. I got the headband the wrong way around too, but this was soon rectified as I just hadn’t looked at the image on the instructions close enough. I’ve checked other reviews such as the one here, but no one else experienced this, so it is just me!
The items also come wrapped in tissue, when you open the box, a lovely touch! The contents were as described on the flap, with further ingredients and cautions on the chin up mask individual packets, just in case they become separated from the box. First I used the supplied tape measure (not sure if I did this measuring correctly due to my reading of the instructions!) I measured from the tip of my chin and the underside of my chin until I reached my neck – this came to 7cm.
My delightful doobla chin before using the mask
I then ripped the individual chin up mask packet open to unfold it as instructions said, it was covered in the ingredients so incredibly wet inside the packet, so I’d recommend doing it in the bathroom. Not to the point it was pouring as it was thicker than that, but you need two hands to unfold the mask! I then placed it on my face.
Placing the mask
Then it was time to place the chinup band. You can feel the band working against gravity the moment you put it on as it is meant to be tight. It smushed my face up and I’ve only got a little face, so this caused hilarity in my house!
I then went about my nightly business of checking gossip sites online whilst I waited 30/40 minutes to remove the mask. After about three minutes I felt like my chin was on fire! I checked the wrapper which says ‘feeling warm is a normal phenomenon when applying the mask’, so this put my mind at ease that I wasn’t having some insane reaction. The heat stayed there the entire time the mask was on, but it didn’t intensify. The black band is tight on the chinip mask, so you instantly feel a lift. I felt my tongue was having muscle exercises and being moved back in to my mouth.
I took it off after 39 minutes due to the baby crying and not wanting to terrify him when I went to settle him. I massaged as instructed and then checked my chin measurements again in the same way as before the mask, it now said I measured 6.5cm – if correct a 0.5cm loss. My partner commented that it did look better and the skin felt lovely and soft. I went to bed, wanting to take photos in the morning with a better light.
Here is a before and after shot:
I’m not sure how much of a difference you can see but it definitely FELT better, tighter and firmer. Two days on, it doesn’t feel as firm as it did, but I feel that I look much less ‘jowly’ than I did a few days ago. I read on the website that the effects can last up to five days – as it is my time of the month at the moment, there could be a water retention issue. So I will certainly use again in a week’s time and post an update. It did make me feel more confident about my appearance and I felt much better looking in the mirror when applying my makeup. That is worth more to me than someone else noticing, so I would definitely consider using this product longer term.
I had the trial set, which came with two masks which you can purchase here
I was kindly provided the trial set for review purposes and all views are my own. The product provider has not seen this review until published and has had no input in to the contents.
Welcome to my brand spanking new guest post series, Mums and Music! As many of us don’t have the time to be going out disco dancing much anymore, this series is to give us mums the opportunity to reminisce about songs we may have forgotten, have a laugh at what we used to think was cool and take some time out to listen to something other than cbeebies theme tunes! This week I am very pleased to welcome Claire from The Lazy Girl Blog. A bit of an expert in this field, so I have looked forward to sharing this with you all.
A little bit about Claire/LazyGirlUK
I’m a 35 year old UK Mum of two. I’ve blogged at The Lazy Girl UK since 2006, I’m a total music and social media nerd and for the last year I’ve been co-hosting an indie radio show- The Strictly Vinyl Show with Him And Her- every Sunday over on radioactivefm.co.uk. I’m a huge vinyl collector (before it was cool) and have a pretty varied taste in tunes.
A Song From Claire’s Childhood
A Day In The Life – The Beatles
My Dad was so sick of me listening to crappy nineties pop when I was around 10 that he ran me off a tape of Sgt Peppers. I listened to it daily for the entire school holidays, learned all the words, and literally it made me start exploring old bands and music. I still like the odd cheesy pop tune but it far improved my musical taste from that point on!
Song That Makes Claire Happy
This is cheese I admit! Hey Mickey by Toni Basil
In my defence, I was at college in 1998/99, a time when a lot of Euro House dance music was around. My friends and I were indie/alternative kids, forced to share a common room and one stereo with these kids who loved really appalling techno and stuff which gave you headache! To get revenge, we used to put this on every morning, and sing and dance like loons to it. It makes me remember that young, silly time of dressing a bit strange and annoying the hip kids!
Song That Hypes Claire Up
Renegade Master by Wildchild (Fatboy Slim Remix)
I have 4 different versions of this tune on vinyl! Its got to be one of my fave dance tracks of all time, and Fatboy Slim is a legend (and I finally got to see him live at Camp Bestival in 2016). The first time I heard this version I was ironing for a night out. Had to put the iron down for safety as was forced to dance round the kitchen to it. Took me ages to track the right one down on vinyl but managed it.
Song That Makes Claire Sad
Change Is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
I have to own up that it was the Seal version of this song but I love Sam Cooke- Change Is Gonna Come. In 2008 my youngest was born at 28 weeks, and spent 4 months in Neonatal care. They didn’t have facilities for parent’s to stay every night so every day, I would travel for just under an hour by bus to be with him, and to pass the time I used to plug a radio into headphones on my phone. This was a big track on local radio as it had been redone by Seal. I still associate it with that time. Happily, my son is now a strapping near on 9 year old!
Claire’s favourite song from film
Don’t Rain on My Parade – Barbara Streisland
Its from my fave film and probably one of my fave actresses too, Barbra Streisand Don’t Rain on My Parade. My sadly no longer with us Nan introduced me to musicals, all the classics! Barbra though i just amazing, a great actress, a great singer and frankly a gorgeous lady too. I never miss Funny Girl and the, probably not quite as popular sequel Funny Lady too.
Claire’s favourite tv theme tune
Danger Mouse
OK, so this is by far the best TV theme tune ever- no contest! Kids TV today has nothing on my era! Its Dangermous, the opening and closing credits. It had explosions, a cute superhero mouse, a mate who was a bit of a drip (seriously, I can’t be the only one who thinks The Simpsons based the Milhouse/Bart friendship on these two?) and an evil baddie too! I am attempting to introduce my children to it as an excuse to watch it with them!
A big thank you for taking part! If you’d like to find out more about this week’s guest blogger you can follow her at:
My social media links
My blog is The Lazy Girls Guide to Life www.lazygirluk.wordpress.com
